Taking Responsibility For Your Health Isn't About Shame Or Blame

Taking responsibility for your health isn't about shame, guilt or blame. If you find yourself triggered by it, more than likely those emotions are about something else - trauma. Being able to look at the state of your health objectively without self-judgement is what I'm talking about.

Accepting the state of things and accepting responsibility for your health as it is now and how you got here, is the gateway to being able to get real with yourself about what your next step should be. This isn't a blame game.

For some of you this may feel very uncomfortable. There is a reason, and it's completely understandable. It comes from a combo of negative degrading messages from the fitness industry and old unresolved trauma. If learning about how to be responsible was all tied up and associated with negative messages about your character as you grew up, in combination with the inaccurate message that overweight people are lazy and take no responsibility for their health, then hearing that you must take responsibility for it can be triggering.

But I'm here to tell you a few things that I know are true: 1.) Poor health and being overweight is not necessarily a sign of irresponsibility (there's always a root cause), 2.) Most people are unaware that unresolved trauma contributes to poor health, and 3.) You are capable of taking responsibility because you already do it in other areas of your life - you just haven't considered that old traumas, hurts, and painful experiences are connected to your current state of health or your ability to look at it.

In Pillar 1 of the M|body Method I get into defining what taking responsibility for your health looks like and how trauma is one possible root cause of your health issues and being stuck. It's imperative to face before you embark on the process of making change. The reason is because you cannot run from old, buried pain. It's there and for most people, lives in the unconscious where it hides, but can reveal itself in what we avoid and how we treat our bodies. 

It's not about blame or shame. It's loving yourself enough to hold space for yourself, honoring yourself to look at what has contributed to the state of your health so you can take the steps to heal. Because if you're a person who has tried everything to lose weight, but you find yourself stuck in old patterns, then you have to take a look under the hood to see if past traumas could be the culprit. You see, trauma is a tricky little beast - it hides in the subconscious in order to protect you, but at the same time can hold you hostage.

If this is new to you, I get it. We're taught to compartmentalize all aspects of ourselves. That our emotions have no impact on our physical health, our past hurts have no impact on our present health, spirituality has no connection to our physical bodies, mental illness has no connection to the state of physical health and on and on. 

But I'm here to tell you that it is indeed all connected. The mental, physical and spiritual. All rely on each other for optimal health.

So what does it really mean then to take personal responsibility for your health - all of it, your mental health, physical health, and spiritual health if you want to attain what you want?

First, let me say, if you're good with how things are and unabashedly own that you love eating processed foods and own it like a boss, then more power to you. I sincerely respect it. Why? Because you get to choose how you live and when you own it, you place no blame on anyone else for your circumstances. It's honest. It's self awareness.

But if you're ready, it starts with getting down and dirty with yourself to look at all of your parts that have contributed to your current condition. It's simply looking at the state of things with absolute honesty with yourself, stepping out of all of your mechanisms that keep you in a state of denial. It can be very difficult, but also freeing and empowering.

And this doesn't have to be a negative process. I believe it's a process of finally honoring yourself, putting yourself first, letting go and trusting the journey that will lead you to the health that you desire.

Will there be work?

Yes. 

Taking responsibility in this context is first getting honest with yourself. Because in order to truly have success and make progress in your journey you have to know that you're ready. And a tall tale sign that you're not ready, is if the thought of really taking a hard look at what is in the way of changing brings up resistance. This is not bad, it just is. It doesn't mean you cannot move through it, you just have to be able to recognize it. 

Then you have a choice: look at the resistance and work through it, or choose not to. There is no right or wrong answer. It's simply recognizing it and making a decision about what you want to do with it. You get to create the timeline, no one else. This is your process.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

What do I really want, I mean REALLY want, deep down?

What am I willing to do or not do?

What support might I need to go deeper and explore the possibility that unresolved trauma might be in my way keeping me stuck?

If you're wanting to make change but have not sat down and gotten real with yourself- looking at any resistance, developing awareness of where you avoid or deny, then real true change cannot happen. You will remain stuck. It's that simple. It can be a hard pill to swallow, but it's the truth. Because I have a guess that you've been at this fork in the road a few times, but you always end up in the same place. So you have to decide if you want it to be different.

And in order to get a different result, you have to do different things.

Sometimes hard things, that will challenge how badly you want it.

And here me when I say, it's ok to not be ready. You get to create your timeline. You have the power to make this choice, no one else. But like I said, if you find yourself stuck, that nothing works despite your efforts, or if you have fear in changing, then this may be a place you need to start.

Remember, you are the one that gets to define yourself and your life. You have the power within you to change it. This I know 100%. The question is do you?

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